Birth Story of Helene

This was posted to misc.kids on 3/11/93. I hadn't yet heard of attachment parenting, and didn't know anyone who breastfed. misc.kids was my only source of parenting wisdom. I now realize that the nurses at the hospital weren't all that supportive - why did they have me on my back the whole time??? I have learned so much since then! I am tempted to edit Helene's story because I am embarrassed of my ignorance about birth and breastfeeding, but I am leaving it exactly as I wrote it at the time.

Helene
December 24, 1992 at 6:45 AM

Helene was born 1 week early. The night we finished her nursery, I woke up with some contractions at 3AM. I wasn't sure if this was "it", and they stayed about the same intensity until late morning when I had my regular doctor's appointment. I was 3 cm dilated and partially effaced, and the doctor said it would be that week, but maybe not that day. My contractions had slowed down by this point.

At 1PM, I went to the mall with my husband to finish our shopping. I decided to walk around until either the contractions went away or I went into active labor - at this point you know which way that went! At 6PM we were wrapping presents and timing contractions. By 8PM they were 5 minutes apart and it was time to go to the hospital.

Unfortunately, I was having terrible back labor. I had wanted to try to deliver without any medication, but I couldn't stand the pain. If the back pain had gone away between contractions, I might have been able to stand it, but I had constant back pain that just got worse during contractions. The nurse kept reminding me that it wasn't an endurance test, and I asked for an epidural.

The anesthesiologist arrived by around 11 and started the epidural. Unfortunately, it only worked on one side! He first tried to increase the level to see if that would work, but he had to redo it (three more stabs in the back to get it in . . .). My husband and I spent the next few hours lying in a darkened birthing room with the only sounds being Helene's heartbeat and the periodic automatic blood pressure taking. It was very surreal!

For some reason, in the small hours of the morning I had an attack of panic because of how numb I was in my legs (even now, I feel uncomfortable thinking about it). I couldn't feel anything at all from the waist down. I felt so out of control - to move my legs I had to physically lift them with my arms, and they were like dead weight. I convinced them to turn the epidural way down, and I started to feel better when I could wiggle my toes.

During all this time, I guess my labor was progressing very slowly. At around 5:30, the nurse asked me if I felt like pushing, and I explained that I couldn't feel anything, so she said she would come back. At 6, she checked me and said that the baby was all the way down and ready to be born in just a couple of pushes. Well, 20 minutes later, I hadn't made any progress with my pushing because I couldn't feel anything at all! So, they turned the epidural all the way off and let it wear off for 15 minutes, and finally I could make some progress. Helene was born very quickly once I had some feeling back.

My parents told me several days later that they both need to get lessened amounts of anesthesia when they have had operations. Aaaarrrrggghhh!!

I am both grateful and sorry about the epidural. I really needed the pain relief. However, I think my labor was lengthened by many hours by the epidural, and I am concerned about my baby being in the birth canal for so long.

My lamaze was totally useless because I had monitors and things everywhere and couldn't move! (The breathing and stuff, that is. The education was wonderful and we did become friends with another couple that we met - I highly recommend it if only for those reasons)

The best part about the whole thing was the labor and delivery nurses. They were so supportive and helpful!

We're all doing well. Helene and I had some problems with breastfeeding in the early weeks and I was in a lot of pain from it, but I stuck with it and started introducing formula at around 7 weeks. Now she gets formula during my work-time feedings (even on the weekends, actually, when I'm home I breastfeed for the middle of the three feedings I miss) and I express milk once a day here. I'm working at home on Tuesdays and Fridays, so that helps with my separation anxiety! She's starting to follow something like a schedule (5 feedings a day plus a bedtime snack, 8 hours of sleep a night, alert after feedings for about 2 hours and then a nap to the next one) - I've just let her find her own pattern and it seems to work well. I wake her before I go to work for feeding and some play time but the rest of the day is up to her (we try to keep her to 3 hours between feedings). We have an Au Pair, and it seems to be working out well.

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