Timothy

Timothy
August 14, 1993 at 11:15am
3250 g (7 lbs 3oz)
50 cm (19.6")
head was 37.5 cm (14.7")

Tim was born at home when we still were living in the Netherlands. To read more about Dutch home birth, check out Cees's birth story.

Tim is our second kid and his birth was much less eventful than Cees's was. Since Cees's birth went so quick (about 4.5 hours of real labor), I thought Timmy's birth would be even quicker. Not so!

I was due on July 31, but went 22 days overdue with my Cees, my first kid, so expected Timmy to be born in August. Actually, my husband Sander has his birthday on August 19 and I thought it would be a nice birthday present for him to have the baby that day.

When I was one week overdue, the midwife stripped my membrames, in the hope to get things going. This was a male midwife, he was really neat, he was married to another midwife and they did their practice together, so we got to know both of them really well. The stripping did not do anything, but then, it didn't with Cees either, so I wasn't too surprised about that.

We were invited to 2 weddings in August, one on the 12th and one on the 13th. Both couples didn't expect us to make it, but we said we would and indeed we did. On the night of the 12th, we were at the first wedding. I didn't feel any contractions yet and felt pretty good. Lots of people would ask when I was due and take a horrified step backwards when I told them 'almost 2 weeks ago!' I think they were thinking I was like a walking bomb which could go off any minute :-)

The morning of the 13th (Friday the 13th!), I had a midwife appointment. He did a rather vigorous internal exam, in the hope that that would get labor started. The next day I would be 2 weeks overdue, so he told me I had to go into the hospital then, to see an ob and most likely be induced. I wasn't too happy about that, since I had hoped for another homebirth.

During the afternoon of the 13th, we attended the second wedding. While we were sitting there, listening to the wedding ceremony, I felt some contractions. Wasn't sure whether it was the real thing yet, but was hoping it would be. On the way back, I got a contraction every time the car hit a bump, was happy about that too! I had some more contractions at home, so hoped this meant that labor was finally starting.

Serious contractions started around 6pm. They were very intense and painful. Just as with Cees, I had mostly back labor. At least I was prepared for the pain. The first time I was overwhelmed by the amount of pain I was experiencing. This time it was the same amount of pain, but it made such a difference that I had gone through it already and knew what to expect and knew the pain would be over soon. During the first birth, I really could imagine why people would want pain relief and would have taken it myself if I had been in an American hospital. This time I didn't feel that way, I figured if I had done one birth without pain medication, I sure could do another one too! Of course, I hoped for a quick birth, which didn't turn out to be, but I didn't know that while I was in labor!

I spent most of this labor laying down or sitting, feeling sorry for myself and hoping it would be over soon! In hindsight, I think I should have walked around more, that would have sped things up. I labored throughout the night, and called the midwife around 2am, since I figured I must be close by now. I was disappointed by two things. I was only a few centimeters dilated and my own midwives weren't on call! So I got an older midwife, with whom I did't really 'click'. She went home again after checking me and told me she would be back in the morning.

At 9am on Saturday morning, she came back. I was further dilated now and she decided to stay and call the mother's helper/ nurse. I asked her about walking around and she said it didn't really make a difference. Knowing what I know now, I know she was wrong. But then I stayed in my bed, instead of getting up. She also didn't have a birthing stool with her, which the other midwives would have had and which I had hoped to use for this birth. Although at that point in my labor, I didn't really care any more, I just wanted it to be over!

Around the same time the midwife came, I also had a friend arrive, who was going to take care of Cees. She had a little boy who was the same age as Cees and she took him with her to their house. He had a great time while he was over there and I liked being able to labor without scaring him with my screaming.

After a while, the midwife broke my water, and she told me the baby would be here soon now. It still took a while though. I was pretty loud, screaming and yelling a lot. I was fed up with the whole labor thing and the screaming somehow helped. The pain seemed less while I was screaming. I didn't know about vocalizing then, I think that would have worked better.

Around 11am the midwife checked me and told me I was fully dilated, so I could push now. I didn't know how to push anymore!! I didn't have the urge yet and that was really difficult. With Cees I had this overwhelming urge and my body just pushed for me. Now it took me a few contractions to figure it out again. Luckily I got it figured out and a few contractions later, Timmy was coming out.

Timmy was born at Saturday 11.15am. He had his hand next to his head and he was so wound up in his cord, that the midwife had to cut the cord already when just his head was out. I needed a very small episiotomy, that required only one stitch (another big head, even bigger than Cees's. After the birth, we called the hospital and told them we wouldn't be in for an induction after all :-)

The total labor was about 17 hours! Much more than I had expected after Cees's quick birth. I think having the hand next to the head was one factor, since that meant the head wasn't engaging the cervix perfectly. Another factor I think was that I was stationary during the labor, instead of moving around. And although the labor was much longer, it wasn't too bad at the time, since I didn't know how long it would be. I just took things one contraction at a time.

This time we could just stay home after the birth and did not have to go to the hospital. This was so nice. Especially the first day, they change so much, their appearance seems to be changing the whole time and I had missed out on all that with Cees. Only when we had Timmy at home and we could stay at home afterwards, I realized what we had missed out on with Cees.

Cees came back home in the afternoon. He was very in awe by the new baby and told me that the new baby needed breast too. Since he was still nursing, I had stressed a lot that the new baby would need a lot of nursing and I guess that had really sunk in. That night, we slept together with 2 kids in our bed, gave me a very rich and special feeling.

I plan to have my next babies also at home, too. I really enjoy laboring in my own environment. The mess is not an issue, since the nurse/mother's helper cleans that up anyway (and now we are living in the States, we hired a post partem doula to help me the first few weeks) Even the first time, when we went to the hospital, the nurse had changed all the bedding, put part of it in the washer and put the rest to soak. So Sander came home from the hospital and all the mess was cleaned up already.

I recently found my misc.kids birth story from when Tim was born. It is a 'fresher' story, posted one week after the birth, and a bit different from this one, I really enjoyed reading it and traveling back in the past :-)